I hate bars. I'm not a big drinker and drinking till I'm drunk and talking over loud music and over other folks who are trying to talk over music too has never been my idea of a good time. So why on earth would I suggest to my boyfriend that we pick up some wings at a bar when he got home from work?
Okay, in my defense, I actually intended to order my wings and a cobb salad and take my food home. But little did I know that He had other ideas. The next thing I know, we are sitting on these tall bar stools screaming across the table at each other.
him: "What did you say?"
me: "I said----."
him: "What did you say?"
me: "Just forget it."
I was irritated but I was tolerant. I try to be flexible. I know that this is a winding down time for him and he accomodates me so I try to reciprocate.
Anyway as I'm sitting there nibbling on a dissappointing batch of wings (they were cooked way to hard and the only flavor on them is the honey mustard sauce they were dipped in), someone yells out,"F**k that b***h!" The group that's with the man that blurted that out laughs and continues talking loudly. I flinch but it turns out they weren't talking about me or anyone else at the bar, but some how that was just part of their lively conversation. Anyway things could have stopped right there, but another man who was sitting across the room started screaming, "Yea f**k that b***h in her a**, hard!" He proceeded to add that this b***h could suck a hard d**k and some other expletives that I'd rather not repeat. And this caused an uproar. Other people joined in saying "Yea!" And I looked over at my date with my "What the hell?" expression on my face. As he smiled at me and nonchalantly ate his wings and sipped his beer.
Needless to say I was ready to go home. My boyfriend tried to assure me that it's not like this all the time and that the person screaming out obscenities was slow and he didn't mean any harm, but still I wanted out of there.
I was out of my element. He knew. I knew it. I knew it when I'd suggested it and it was apparent as soon as I walked in the place. But it had been my suggestion and I put myself there. And even though I was free to leave any time I wanted I had to ask myself, why do people constantly put themselves in positions that they know will make them uncomfortable? Why do we insist on doing things that we know we don't like or don't want to do as if trying the same thing will yield a different result?
We do it in jobs, our lives, our loves and our relationships. We knowingly put ourselves in places and in situations where we know we don't belong, that we won't fare well and we won't be happy.
Why?
I don't know the answer to that and I can't say that this realization will keep me out of stupid situations and that from this day forward all of my decisions will be of sound judgement. But what I will say is that I will try to stay in my element and if for what ever reason I decide to step out of it I won't complain about "the loud music, the obscenities, or the bad food," I'll just keep in mind that, "I'm free to leave anytime that I want."
Okay, in my defense, I actually intended to order my wings and a cobb salad and take my food home. But little did I know that He had other ideas. The next thing I know, we are sitting on these tall bar stools screaming across the table at each other.
him: "What did you say?"
me: "I said----."
him: "What did you say?"
me: "Just forget it."
I was irritated but I was tolerant. I try to be flexible. I know that this is a winding down time for him and he accomodates me so I try to reciprocate.
Anyway as I'm sitting there nibbling on a dissappointing batch of wings (they were cooked way to hard and the only flavor on them is the honey mustard sauce they were dipped in), someone yells out,"F**k that b***h!" The group that's with the man that blurted that out laughs and continues talking loudly. I flinch but it turns out they weren't talking about me or anyone else at the bar, but some how that was just part of their lively conversation. Anyway things could have stopped right there, but another man who was sitting across the room started screaming, "Yea f**k that b***h in her a**, hard!" He proceeded to add that this b***h could suck a hard d**k and some other expletives that I'd rather not repeat. And this caused an uproar. Other people joined in saying "Yea!" And I looked over at my date with my "What the hell?" expression on my face. As he smiled at me and nonchalantly ate his wings and sipped his beer.
Needless to say I was ready to go home. My boyfriend tried to assure me that it's not like this all the time and that the person screaming out obscenities was slow and he didn't mean any harm, but still I wanted out of there.
I was out of my element. He knew. I knew it. I knew it when I'd suggested it and it was apparent as soon as I walked in the place. But it had been my suggestion and I put myself there. And even though I was free to leave any time I wanted I had to ask myself, why do people constantly put themselves in positions that they know will make them uncomfortable? Why do we insist on doing things that we know we don't like or don't want to do as if trying the same thing will yield a different result?
We do it in jobs, our lives, our loves and our relationships. We knowingly put ourselves in places and in situations where we know we don't belong, that we won't fare well and we won't be happy.
Why?
I don't know the answer to that and I can't say that this realization will keep me out of stupid situations and that from this day forward all of my decisions will be of sound judgement. But what I will say is that I will try to stay in my element and if for what ever reason I decide to step out of it I won't complain about "the loud music, the obscenities, or the bad food," I'll just keep in mind that, "I'm free to leave anytime that I want."
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