Weekly Book Review #5: The Pussy Whispers by Dean Jean-Pierre

 

The Pussy Whispers is a collection of erotic short stories and poetry written from a woman’s point of view, by a man, (yea, you read that right). 

Dean Jean-Pierre has compiled some of his most sensitive, yet sensual erotic tales and poems in his book, The Pussy Whispers.

It is well written, female friendly and so deliciously decadent, that I suggest that it is read slowly.  It is not meant to be a speed read, but savored as would be a  glass of fine wine or great food.

In his book The Pussy Whispers, Dean Jean-Pierre uses his superb creative writing skills to transfer his readers to exotic island locals, private office spaces and to more intimate settings such as a hotel room, a lover’s boudoir, or to an elevator as in the story Floor 6...9.

With words that wash over you as easily as lyrics to a song, Dean Jean-Pierre has the ability to take you there with the mere stroke of his pen and his wildly salacious imagination.  From the very romantic to the carnal, there is something for every woman here.

The following is an interview with author Dean Jean-Pierre.

Tanya: Thank you so much for your time.  I really enjoyed your book.  You are a self published author and in case some of my readers are unaware this requires a lot more work on the author‘s behalf. That being said, I think the title of your book was a bold choice. How did you decide to name your book, The Pussy Whispers as opposed to a title that might have attracted a more wider audience?

Dean Jean-Pierre: Thank you again for your time and your review of my book. I knew that the title might cause some people not to give my book a chance based solely on the title. In this case, don’t judge a book by title truly does apply. A more subtle title might have given me a wider audience but then I would not be true to myself as a writer. I believe that regardless of the title, the book will find its intended audience. I have no regrets about the title. I love it!

Tanya: I know that this is your first published book. How did you make the decision to choose erotica as your genre for your first publication?  Did you find that erotica is your niche or is it just one of the many facets of your work?

Dean Jean Pierre: My partner, Pascale Jacques and I thought that my brand of sensual erotica would give us the widest possible audience. You have to grab a reader’s attention and once you have it then it becomes easier to introduce them to the other stuff you are working on. I never planned on writing erotica. I just fell into it and it turns out that I am pretty decent at it. My intention was and still is to write novels, poetry and scripts.  

Tanya: Everyone is different. But I preferred to take my time reading your book.  You did a wonderful job at making each story seem fresh and new.  It really takes a great deal of talent to find new and exciting ways to write about the same thing.Was it difficult creating your characters and storylines or did you pull them from your real life experiences?

Dean Jean-Pierre: Reading for me is an experience. I want the writer to transport me to someplace different. I don’t want to say it was easy but the stories come from an assortment of things: conversations, imagination and yes, life. I can hear someone say something and my mind takes it in another direction and a story is born. It’s a beautiful thing.

Tanya: I have said that your book The Pussy Whispers, is a female friendly book, but I think that it would make a great read for couples. As a matter of fact I think that men should read this book and perhaps it can open up more discussions about what a woman truly wants from her partner.

Did you have this in mind when writing The Pussy Whispers or was it intended for entertainment purposes only?

Dean Jean- Pierre: I have received emails from readers that they are reading to their spouse, in bed and overseas. A few readers have even told me that they’ve enacted a few of the pieces. It’s gratifying that my writing is so vivid that it allows people to want to act it out. Most of my readers for now are women but I really do believe there’s a lot to be learned in The Pussy Whispers by men once they give it a chance. Sex doesn’t start down below but in a woman’s mind. Seduce her mind and she will do almost anything you want—almost.

Tanya: I loved your use of metaphors and similes.  Your writing was very vivid and descriptive.

Is this a natural talent or would you say that you’ve honed this writing skill with a lot of practice?

Dean Jean-Pierre: I’ve been writing since the 3^rd grade and I always say that before I am writer that I am a reader. I love to read. When you write, you are speaking to the imagination of your readers so you have to reach deeper to paint the pictures in your mind to communicate with them. It’s agonizing work as a writer goes over every sentence but I love it.

Tanya: Great cover too.  Modest yet straight forward.

Tell us about your covers designer.

Dean Jean-Pierre: The cover design for both of my books was done by Cynthia Colbert. I met her through my partner at CalmWaters and it’s been a good relationship to work with her. The intention of the cover is to convey sensuality in a subtle way but still make it sexy. Sexy doesn’t have to be in your face to be obvious.

Tanya: Thank you so much for your time Dean Jean-Pierre, I’m looking forward to reading more of your work. Any words of inspiration for my readers and aspiring writers?

Dean Jean-Pierre: Every review and criticism is valid. Don’t discount an opinion just because you don’t agree with it. It can help you to grow as a writer. If you ever reach the point where you think that you can’t continue to grow and get better as a writer then you should stop writing.

The Pussy Whispers, a collection of titillating tales and poetry will leave you hungry for more. Ideal for women who don’t want their erotica from a brown paper wrapper or for those who do. (wink)

Happy reading!

The Pussy Whispers as well as Dean Jean-Pierre's second book, Woman Worship is available at www.deanjeanpierre.com and the E Book is available through Kindle. Dean Jean-Pierre is currently working on an erotica spoken word CD which is expected to be released in July.

Weekly Book Review #4: A Face of Prozac One Woman’s Journey Through Eating Disorders, Anxiety, And Really, Really Bad PMS.

We all have issues right? Let’s just be honest. I could list mine, but that would be counterproductive, so I won’t go there. But Jennifer A. Carle does.

In her book A Face of Prozac, she candidly broaches the subject of mental health disorders, eating disorders, anxiety and depression with such authenticity that at times it makes you want to cringe. You cringe because you know that she’s talking about herself and her own personal experiences and it’s not just some fictional character that you’re emotionally connecting with, it’s the author.

I read this book in a few short hours, which I know isn’t saying much, seeing that it’s  a mere 100 pages long. But that’s the beauty of this book. She gets straight to the point. She lays her issues on the line with a comic flair that adds to the ease of reading, A Face of Prozac.

Jennifer A. Carle takes her readers on a journey of her life and through the bumpy terrain she’s traveled along the way as she faces her problems head on. This author proves that coming to the realization that you have a problem is only half the battle, tackling those problems is the next and maybe the most difficult step.

A Face of Prozac is an honest look at a real person’s self acceptance despite her issues. An obstructed view of a life less than perfect through Jennifer A. Carle’s eyes.

The following is an interview with Jennifer A. Carle, author of A Face of Prozac:

Tanya: First of all, I want to thank you for being so candid in your book A Face of Prozac.
1)Was it difficult to speak so frankly about yourself? Did you find it liberating to ‘come clean’ about some things that you were holding inside?

Jennifer: Liberating is an interesting choice of words. I would not wish what has happened to me physically and psychologically on anyone. I have taken prozac over the years for many different reasons, and it works for me. I felt that I had to write this book so that one person would not have to go through all the confusion, self loathing and misdiagnoses that I did. So in a sense, I’m hoping I liberate someone else.

Tanya: I’ve often thought about writing an autobiography, but aside from me thinking that it wouldn’t be interesting enough, I was always so concerned about what my family would think about it.
2) Did you have that fear and how did you overcome it? How accepting was your family about you telling your story?

Jennifer: This was an incredibly hard book to write. My first book, about a dog I adopted from the Maryland SPCA, wrote itself. I literally typed the words that came out of nowhere. The prozac book was all me, and there was a lot I didn’t want to put out there for the world to see. I didn’t want to throw my family under the bus; I didn’t want them to think that if I had different parents or a different husband and kids, none of this would have happened. So I gave all my adult family members a copy of the manuscript and told them if there was any content that they felt shouldn’t be in the book, as long as it didn’t change the tone of the story, I would edit it. No one said anything, so I think they understood that the book is my story from memories that I have. No one else can own this book.

Tanya: Mental illness is such a taboo subject and sadly it doesn’t have the respect of physical health conditions.
3) How did you decide to make this a topic for your book?

Jennifer: I have been through hell and back on at least 4 separate occasions. Prozac works for me. Having premenstrual dysphoric disorder is awful. It’s not a bad day or a bad period. It’s having your body and mind betray you. I thought if I could help just one person not go through what I did, the book would be worth the angsting I put myself through to write it. And honestly, having people rush up to my table to tell me that they are the one person my book helped is very satisfying.

Tanya: I thank you so much for your honesty.
4) Do you have any words of encouragement for my readers and aspiring writers?

Jennifer: This is going to sound lame, but really, if I can do it, anyone can.

Thanks again Jennifer!
 
A Face of Prozac is Jennifer A. Carle’s second book. Her first book Finally Winsome are about dogs that she adopted from a local shelter. Proceeds from the sale of those books go to one of three local shelters. Her most recent book entitled, My College Boyfriend Dumped Me for You: Can I Add You as a Friend? as well as her other books can be purchased at jennifercarle.tateauthor.com. Order your copies today!

Weekly Book Review #3: Snake Walkers by J.Everett Prewitt

Snake Walkers is the story of a boy who wanders into the Arkansas woods in 1948 and witnesses the brutal lynching of another young man. Torn between shame and fear, he is traumatized by the event.

As an adult, Anthony Andrews dreams of becoming a reporter. He secures a job as the first black reporter at the Arkansas Sun. While there, he is given the assignment of investigating the abandonment of a small town and the disappearance of fourteen of it's white male residents. His quest for answers inevitably leads him to a family that harbors a tightly kept secret that they'll do anything within their power to keep that way.

I had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Prewitt last fall at an event where he was the guest speaker. I was impressed by how freely he was willing to share information, to enlighten, and encourage his audience of readers and aspiring writers. After the event I received his book, Snake Walkers as a gift from the coordinators of the event. And I must say I thoroughly enjoyed it. I started reading it and I could not put it down.

Snake Walkers has all the elements of a good read. It has drama, suspense, mystery, romance, murder and a touch of comedy. But it is written in a way that is family friendly. I felt emotionally connected to each of the characters, which was a huge draw for me.

I have never read a book before that promotes such a powerful theme of love of family, family unity and of core family values among African Americans, (I am not saying that these books don’t exist, I’m just saying that I haven't read any).

Snake Walkers is such an important novel that it is on the top of my list for must reads for school curriculums. I believe this should be required reading for students, because it is such a well written story that touches on so many elements of African American history. We see an African American family unlike those often portrayed in our history books and in the media. Such a refreshing change!

Snake Walkers is a mystery novel set in the 1960’s. It is touching and suspenseful, with all of the twists and turns that will keep you flipping its pages.

Snake Walkers is a first novel for J. Everett Prewitt.

The following is an interview with J. Everett Prewitt, author of Snake Walkers:

Tanya: Mr. Prewitt your novel Snake Walkers kept me captivated. Your descriptions of the people and places were so vivid and detailed that I felt I was in the woods with Anthony, seeing and feeling the things he experienced.
You touched on so many things in your novel such as racism, hidden and blatant, inner demons, class differences among blacks of that era and the migration of Southern blacks to the north. Yet you were able to weave such a compelling story that was entertaining and relevant.
Is any part of this story based upon your own personal experience?

Prewitt: Yes. Tanya. I had some experiences that mirrored characters in the book. In 1966, I was one of fourteen students that set an ambush for the Klan when they planned on invading our campus at Lincoln University in Pennsylvania. Luckily, they drove by the school without stopping. I think someone tipped them off.
If they had come on campus, I probably would have written Snake Walkers from jail.
I was also a pool hustler for a period of time, so parts of Raymond William’s experiences were my experiences.

Tanya: Snake Walkers was such an easy read. But as readers we assume that these novels are just as easy to write.  Did you ever experience writers block? And if so how did you overcome that?

Prewitt: Oh, yes. Many times. I usually overcame it by either reading books on the same subject, conducting more research on some subject matter in the book, or reading books on how to be a better writer. As a last resort, I would read what I had already written and sometimes it spurred me to continue.

Tanya: Did writing Snake Walkers require much research?

Prewitt: Yes. I went to Arkansas, read news articles about that period, and talked to people familiar with the area. I find the more realistic the setting, the more the reader is drawn into the story. I also videotaped an interview of my father, uncle and aunt who lived in Arkansas and got information that I used in the book from their stories.

Tanya: As writers we hope that our readers are left with certain messages after reading our work.  Is that the case with you? And what message do you hope for your readers to get after reading Snake Walkers?

Prewitt: No one is "above the fray" when it comes to fighting injustice. Your strength comes from within. A strong, supportive family is essential when confronting insurmountable odds. Persistence and an open mind are necessary to navigate the treacherous mazes of life.

Tanya: Snake Walkers is a great book. I look forward to reading more from you. Is there anything new in the works?

Prewitt: I’m working on a few things: (1) A book of short stories titled The Last Time I Saw Willie (2) I’m working on a sequel to Snake Walkers titled Two Wolves (3) I also hope to write a non-fiction work about the Glenville community from 1950-1970.

Tanya: Any words of wisdom for my readers and aspiring writers?

Prewitt: Everybody has a story. Those who wish to write it need to be persistent, curious about what makes a good writer and willing to sacrifice time, energy and money to make your book happen. I took writing courses, bought numerous books on writing and joined a writer’s critique group which helped me immensely.

Tanya: Thanks you so much for your time Mr. Prewitt. It’s been a pleasure.

J. Everett Prewitt, master story teller, novelist and winner of Best Books 2005 Awards, Fresh Voices Book Award, Best Fiction Los Angeles, Black Book Expo 2005 and winner of ForeWord Magazine’s Book of the Year 2005.

Oh and did I mention that he’s self published?

J. Everett Prewitt is available for book signings.

Snake Walkers is available online at Amazon, Borders and Loganberry books.  The Kindle edition of Snake Walkers is also available.  Get your copy today!                       

Open Up Your Mouth!

A little over a year ago I met this wonderful lady named Geraldine Chalklette.  A tiny little chocolate powerhouse with a huge heart.  I met her at my very first book signing event at The Nile Valley Restaurant in Cleveland, Ohio.
I was up there with my close friend Aisha Taylor and we were sharing a table together.  Anyway, to make a long story short, little Mama (Ms. Chalklette) walked over to my table with her arms crossed, smiled, looked me up and down and told me that my little table was pitiful.  She stood there and ran down to me all the things that I needed to do.
For example, she said I needed "some good candy", to draw the people. 
I needed to put my book on a stand so that it could be on display for everyone to see. 
She added,"Girl where is your poster?  Now you know you need a poster."  Of course I had a poster, but it was at home and I told her that.
"Good place for it," she responded.
Now somebody else may have been offended, but I know good advice when I hear it, so I started taking notes.  We exchanged numbers and we became fast friends.
We met weekly, we talked often and she shared with me as much as she could, with a genuine desire for nothing more than to help me and to see me be successful.
I met many people through her because Ms. Chalklette was a connector.  If she couldn't get the job done, then she was gonna connect you with someone who could.
I loved that about her.  She stayed positive and she made sure that she only connected me with positive people who had her stamp of approval and if somebody wasn't right she was gonna tell me about them and she would tell them about themselves too if they weren't careful. I  have met many people, am still meeting many people, and am still connected with many people through her. Because I networked. 
As a matter of fact I never would  have met Ms. Chalklette and many others had it not been for my good friend Aisha Taylor who introduced me to networking.
Networking is such a neccesity in this business.  You never know who you're gonna meet.
Networking is such a powerful tool.  Seize every opportunity to share your craft. If you keep silent about your gifts then why should a stranger share it?  I have met so many wonderful people just by opening up my mouth. 
Grocery stores, clothing stores, pharmacies, I share my book wherever I go and somebody's gonna buy it! And they do. What's the worst thing that can happen? Seriously?  Somebody might say no, they're not interested. So?  You keep it movin'.  Somebody's gonna be curious.  Somebody's gonna want to know what's so special about your book. 
As a matter of fact, last year when I was standing in line at Rite Aid talking about my book, this lady over heard me talking and she jumped in the conversation and said,"What's so special about that book." and I answered with a smile, "It's special because I wrote it."  And guess what.  She bought one.  As a matter of fact I sold three books that day in that line.  Had I been timid and afraid, those three books would still be sitting in the trunk of my car.
In other words, confidence goes a long way.  Never be afraid to open up your mouth, because as the old saying goes,"A closed mouth don't get fed."
I don't know whose grandmama or granddaddy we have to thank for that saying, but aint it the truth?
I lost my dear friend Decenber 4th of last year.  We were on our way to a networking event.  We were going to Columbus to support a close friend of hers when she suffered a heart attack in my car on the way there. She died 1 week later.  It still bothers me to this day because I think we shared a divine connection and I miss her dearly.  But I am so happy that I met her and I've met so many people that loved her as I do and I never would have met her if I had missed out on that networking opportunity and if she hadn't felt comfortable and confident enough to open up her mouth.

Weekly Book Review: Stripping Asjiah by Sa'Rese

I usually don’t read urban novels. It’s not that I can’t relate to them, it’s just that I’d felt I’ve seen and read it all before. But when I began reading this book I was hooked from page one.

Stripping Asjiah (pronounced Asia), is the story of a beautiful 17 year old girl, who at the tender age of 8 years old tragically loses her mother, when she is brutally murdered by her estranged father.

On top of that she, along with her older brother Angel, move in with their maternal grandmother, (who they call Marie). There she is viciously raped by her uncle. And to make matters worse, when she tells her Aunt and grandmother what happened to her, they further victimize her by calling her a liar.

With no where to go and no one to turn to Asjiah pours her heart out in her journal and turns to the only people that she thinks she can trust.

That’s all I’m gonna say. Because I don’t want to spoil this book for anyone, but believe me, there is so much more to this novel than what I’ve mentioned so far. I mean I got started reading it as soon as it arrived in the mail and I didn’t put it down until I was done at 12 o’clock the next day.

Stripping Asjiah, was very well written and I loved the pace of the story. It kept me wanting more and I was actually disappointed when it ended. The cast of characters were interesting and the storyline was realistic. As a native Clevelander I loved how she included streets and landmarks in her tale, because it made me feel like I was a part of the story.
Stripping Asjiah is a gritty urban tale set on the back drop of Cleveland’s mean streets.

Stripping Asjiah is Sa’Rese’s first novel.

Order Stripping Asjiah and the sequel, Stripping Asjiah II, which is now available as an e book. You can pre order hard copies of Stripping Asjiah II on Amazon.com also.  I recommend that you order both. Believe me, if you don't, you're gonna wish you had!

Happy reading!

The following is an interview with Sa'Rese, the author of Stripping Asjiah and Stripping Asjiah II:


First of all, I really love the title and the definition you gave for the word
stripping was so fitting to Asjiah's character and the things that she
experiences.

1) What was your inspiration for your main character, Asjiah?
Thank you so much! I wanted a title that would stand out, something unique and that
also had a deeper meaning to the book. My inspiration for Asjiah? Life.
Life and all the things that you hear about, things you see on the
news, read about, things that are hushed and whispered because no
one wants to speak on certain topics.
 
This novel really stands out among the urban fiction that is written today.

2) How would you say Stripping Asjiah differs from other novels of this genre?
Stripping Asjiah differs because it isn't an urban novel. Not to
say that there is anything wrong with urban books but I don't
classify my novel as such simply because it isn't saturated with
the usual, monotonous story line. The characters in the book are easy to
identify with so it allows the reader to feel as though it is more
than just a book.

Stripping Asjiah was such an easy read and you painted a picture that was so
vivid.

3) What was the most difficult thing about bringing this story to life? 
The most difficult thing was me sitting still. Honestly, I am my
own worst critic so the hardest part for me would've been making sure
I didn't get ahead of my thoughts and that everything was depicted the
way I saw it in my mind.

Well, thank you so much for your time. And I wish you much success!

4) Any words of inspiration for my readers and aspiring writers?
Words of inspiration to readers? Keep reading. Society is becoming so lazy
now a day's and people don't read for leisure anymore. I think literature
is a way to escape the mundane. To aspiring writers, be yourself. That's
the best advice I can give. Be yourself and don't allow anyone to write
your story for you.

Sa'Rese, a fresh voice in a literary world of same-old-same old!

May 12th Sarese will be the featured poet at Cover Me Presents
June 2nd is her book release party for Stripping Asjiah II at The Poets Lounge

All of the above events are in Columbus Ohio.  However she is available for booking, signings, etc.

What Are You Afraid Of?

What's stopping you from breathing life into your visions?  Are you afraid that they will laugh at you? Are you afraid that you will fail?  Are you afraid that you won't meet up to their standards? What's stopping you from being all that you can be?
Don't become enslaved by others ideas of you. 
Feel free to rise to your greatest potential.
Why do you think that we are blessed with gifts and talents? I believe it is given to us for us to share. What good is a masterpiece if the artists keeps his creations to himself? A writer who doesn't share their work or a gifted singer who sings only to themself. It is not vanity to share your gifts, it is your purpose. Don't let anyone discourage your from shining. The person who hates on you, is the person who has yet to see purpose within themselves. 
Feel free to rise to your greatest potential.

So You Want To be an Author?

Okay, so everyone wants my advice on publishing/writing their novel.  But they are disappointed when they realize that I have very limited information. Please remember that I am just a struggling, self published author selling books out the trunk of my car.
I am still in the learning process myself.  I am willing to share all of my limited knowledge, but at best I can give you my advice on what absolutely not to do (I am an expert on that).
Anyway, my best advice is to write every day.  Make writing a habit. 
Call it practice.
Make your pen your paint brush and the paper your canvas. 
Everyone has a story to tell and their own special way of expressing themselves.
What is your story?
Become an avid reader. I know that you've heard it before but it's true, reading helps you to learn and to grow.  You may not be able to contact your favorite author and ask them questions or advice.  But you can learn a lot about a writer by the way that they write.
Ask yourself:  What was it about their book that made you enjoy it so much, how did they develop their characters, their story arc? You don't want to mimic their writing, but this will help you to develop and hone your own writing skills.
Go to book signings. Some authors lecture and do question and answer sessions at their book signings. Take notes and be prepared. Write down the questions you'd like to ask.
Attend creative writing classes.  There is so much to learn and being in association with like minded individuals always helps too. Networking is a powerful tool.  You'll really see the value of this after your work is published.
Check out the authors and publishing companies that specialize in your genre when looking for publishers to publish your book. It might not be a good idea to contact a Christian publishing company with your erotic novel.
Do your internet research. There is a wealth of knowledge on the internet.  You just have to do some digging to find it. There are a variety of self publishing outfits out there, but be careful.  Unfortunately, I had to learn "the hard way" (a direct quote from someone who will remain nameless).
In other words it's gonna take some hard work and research. But it is most definitely worth it.  Remember each of us has a story to tell and an audience to tell it to. Don't become discouraged! As with any good work, there will be someone sitting on the sidelines waiting to stomp your fire out.  DON'T LET THEM!
You would be surprised. Discouragement can come in the form of family and friends. But you can do it!
If I can write a book anyone can. But don't be like me. I just jumped in with both feet without doing any research at all. And I would never recommend that.  Anything worth doing takes care and careful planning.
I hope this has been helpful. If so pay it forward. 
Well okay then! Get started!  And after you've done all of that, come back and holla at a sistah and maybe we can network and you can return the favor!

At A Loss For Words

Guess Who Loves You More......mmmm.

It's rare that I'm at a loss for words. But this song does something to me. I can't quite describe how it makes me feel. But there is something about this song that makes my insides happy. Have you ever felt that way? Has there been a song, a piece of art or poetry that reaches out to you, and touches you in a way that leaves you... speechless?

I don't know what it is about this song. But as soon as I hear the music I start moving my head. I close my eyes and I begin to envision my own mental music video. I have always loved Earth Wind and Fire's Can't Hide Love, so the fact that that music is used in this song (a perfect choice), just adds to it's intensity for me.

The music is so smooth and sensual.

His words are powerful and his voice seduces me.

I feel him on so many levels.

"I love you more", is his declaration. Can you imagine after a bad break up another man breaking it down like this? "It's me who loves you more." Go'head on Raheem DeVaughn! I applaud the boldness of his lyrics. The very act of approaching a woman with those words without the fear of consequences or possible rejection is impressive alone. Not to mention his soulful vocal stylings can have a woman melting from the inside out.

Mmmmph,mmmph,mmmmph. I must say I'm impressed. This man has impressed me and has left an impression on me. Guess who loves you more (shaking my head. I'm having one of my Gurl puhleeze moments).....what more can I say?

Guess Who Loves You More

Out Of My Element

I hate bars. I'm not a big drinker and drinking till I'm drunk and talking over loud music and over other folks who are trying to talk over music too has never been my idea of a good time. So why on earth would I suggest to my boyfriend that we pick up some wings at a bar when he got home from work?

Okay, in my defense, I actually intended to order my wings and a cobb salad and take my food home. But little did I know that He had other ideas. The next thing I know, we are sitting on these tall bar stools screaming across the table at each other.

him: "What did you say?"

me: "I said----."

him: "What did you say?"

me: "Just forget it."

I was irritated but I was tolerant. I try to be flexible. I know that this is a winding down time for him and he accomodates me so I try to reciprocate.

Anyway as I'm sitting there nibbling on a dissappointing batch of wings (they were cooked way to hard and the only flavor on them is the honey mustard sauce they were dipped in), someone yells out,"F**k that b***h!" The group that's with the man that blurted that out laughs and continues talking loudly. I flinch but it turns out they weren't talking about me or anyone else at the bar, but some how that was just part of their lively conversation. Anyway things could have stopped right there, but another man who was sitting across the room started screaming, "Yea f**k that b***h in her a**, hard!" He proceeded to add that this b***h could suck a hard d**k and some other expletives that I'd rather not repeat. And this caused an uproar. Other people joined in saying "Yea!" And I looked over at my date with my "What the hell?" expression on my face. As he smiled at me and nonchalantly ate his wings and sipped his beer.

Needless to say I was ready to go home. My boyfriend tried to assure me that it's not like this all the time and that the person screaming out obscenities was slow and he didn't mean any harm, but still I wanted out of there.

I was out of my element. He knew. I knew it. I knew it when I'd suggested it and it was apparent as soon as I walked in the place. But it had been my suggestion and I put myself there. And even though I was free to leave any time I wanted I had to ask myself, why do people constantly put themselves in positions that they know will make them uncomfortable? Why do we insist on doing things that we know we don't like or don't want to do as if trying the same thing will yield a different result?

We do it in jobs, our lives, our loves and our relationships. We knowingly put ourselves in places and in situations where we know we don't belong, that we won't fare well and we won't be happy.

Why?

I don't know the answer to that and I can't say that this realization will keep me out of stupid situations and that from this day forward all of my decisions will be of sound judgement. But what I will say is that I will try to stay in my element and if for what ever reason I decide to step out of it I won't complain about "the loud music, the obscenities, or the bad food," I'll just keep in mind that, "I'm free to leave anytime that I want."

Gitchy, Gitchy, Ya Ya Ya Ya

When I was a little girl the name of the song was Gitchy, gitchy, ya ya ya ya. No they didn't change the title once I became an adult, but that was the name of the song as far as me and my cousin Sandy was concerned. And though we never knew the words to the song we would sing it just as loudly and with just as much confidence, twisting our little hips and belting out every little made up word as if we'd wrote the song ourselves. And even though at that age I was Chaka Khan and she was Natalie Cole, we were more than happy to take a break from our borrowed personas and "become" Patti Labelle. And I must say my cousin Sandy and I could really give Ms. Labelle a run for her money.

I remember that growing up we were allowed to sing and dance to that song. My mother didn't forbid me from singing to it or dancing to it. My granmother didn't stop us and neither did my Aunt Sarah. Which is a shocker the more I think about it, because she almost gave me a whoopin' for using the words "To Hot To Trot". And I wasn't even calling anybody that I was just repeating what someone else had said.

I said that to say, that back then we had boundaries. There were things we couldn't say, things we couldn't repeat and songs that we couldn't sing to or dance to. There was a place for children when grown folks were talking (and that place wasn't up in grown folk's faces looking into their mouths). There were rules, some spoken and some unspoken, but rules nonetheless. And somehow I didn't feel deprived. I felt protected.

Sure I use to pout. I remember when my Aunt Florence bought me and my cousin Sandy our first pair of high heeled shoes and I wasn't allowed to wear mine and by the time my mother said I could they didn't fit anymore (that pissed me off). But I understand why my mother did what she did.

Would it have mattered if she let me wear the shoes when I first got them while they still fit? Probably not. They were ugly navy blue shoes with thick wooden heels. And it was highly unlikely that my cousin and I would have been mistaken for a couple of child prostitutes in them. But I knew that it was her rule and I had to abide by it. No biggy.

But I have to say it's funny how Sandy and I were allowed to sing and dance to Lady Marmalade (A.K.A Gitchy, Gitchy Ya Ya Ya Ya). I have to believe it was because we had no idea what we were singing about and it had to help us out that we made up our own words. I bet it was real entertaining watching two little girls with baby blankets wrapped around our heads (that was our long fake hair), singing our little hearts out. Or perhaps it was easier to allow us to sing and dance and have our fun without having to stop us and explain why such a fun song was bad for two nice little 5 year old girls to sing. Regardless to why that song wasn't forbidden to us I'm thankful because it gave me one of the best memories of growing up with my cousin Sandy.

Lady Marmalade

Birth

Okay. So I'm off today and I decided to stop by the library and pick up a few movies. And to my surprise The Warrensville Heights library just happens to have a wide variety of movies today. Anyway, after reading the back of this movie that has Nicole Kidman on the cover with a rather unattractive short hair cut, I decided to give it a try.

OH my gosh! This movie is surprisingly good. A bit disturbing, but good. It's about this woman whose husband drops dead while going for a jog in the snow, (snow jogging,who does that?). Anywho the wife played by Nicole Kidman is understandably devastated and even though she has a new man in her life who really seems to love her she's having a hard time moving on. Well, ten years later this kid shows up saying that he is this woman's deceased husband.

Okay, while I'm waiting for this kid to be the demon seed of Satan it turns out that he knows all about this woman, personal details that only her husband would know. Anyway, nobody believes him at first. But then he becomes increasingly convincing even to me. But that's not the disturbing part. What's disturbing is how convinced Nicole Kidman is and what she's willing to do to be with this 10 year old boy.

Usually by now I would be on Wikipedia looking this movie up because I'm in no mood for surprises, I don't want to see any sexual innuendos with this child and I am not a horror fan (except for the Saw movies. I love those),but I don't because I'm really curious about how this movie plays out.

Is he her husband reincarnated or is he a fraud?

I won't tell. I definitely would have rewritten the ending though. But I think it's worth checking this movie out. Oh, I almost forgot, the name of the movie is Birth. There is no heartstopping action and it is not a moving drama. But it begs the question: How far would you go to reclaim a lost love?

Make Me A Believer

It's dark and quiet except for the sound of the rain and the faint flicker of candlelight off in the distance. And there I am, sitting on the plushest faux velvet pit group with the finest man in the universe. We're making out. And as we're contemplating the many ways that we're going to make each others toes curl, the stereo clicks on. And in perfect pitch he croons along with Luther Vandross with sweet whispers in my ear, lips close enough to my neck to make me tingle, "I wanna love wanna have wanna hold you girl, so make me a believer." Mmmph, mmmph, mmmph. Is there any better way to spend a rainy evening?
Of course none of this ever happened. There was never a rainy evening that found me making out to Luther Vandross's Make Me A believer. There was a faux velvet pit group, but it wasn't mine and I wasn't on it making out with the finest man in the universe. And for those who don't recall what a pit group is, it is a large 3 piece couch. The one that I'm referring to belonged to my uncle. My cousin and I use to spend the weekends sitting there listening to good old music, mostly love songs and fantasizing what it would be like to be grown and having the man of our dreams sing those words to us.
We imagined dressing up and going out on dates and having boyfriends that would make us feel like we felt when we heard the lyrics to those really great old songs.
And though I was only in Junior high school and I wasn't sexually active, I was almost positive that when the time came that I would be able to blow a man's mind. After all, I had read enough of my mother's Essence and Cosmopolitan magazine articles.
I have to shake my head when I think back on my old, idealistic views on sex, love and relationships and how the men in my past have chipped away at it over the years. And even though I have had my share of disappointments I treasure all of the memories and I am thankful for all of that good old music that kept my imagination going, fed my curiosity and contributes to my writing today.

To Blog or not to Blog

I love to write and I love to talk. Actually I love to do both so much that I don't need an audience for either. I'm not saying that I enjoy walking around talking to myself, but it is nice to be able to openly express myself without being interrupted. So after ineffectively discouraging others from blogging I have decided to use this public forum to journal my life....So here I go.